(no subject)

 realizing the scaffolding is missing from the rest of my life now, or until next fall. "gap year" is so literal lol. i wanted to time the realizing to run its course until the end of summer, and there could still be a delineation between august and september, but i was a tryhard about it and did that all by the time april rained. and then spent the rest of term colouring in the lines. no more lines! maybe my birthday is something, or probably i just re-memorize passages until i'm in school again